Ch. 5: Clear the Path
How to Drop the Mental Constructs That Block Us
“Swimming all the laps is so boring, it’s exhausting just to think about it!”
This was from a coaching client, who loves the way swimming makes him feel … but often gets discouraged from finishing all of his laps because of the thought of how hard it will be to finish them.
“Is the swimming actually boring?” I asked him.
“Well, no … not when I’m in the moment, doing the strokes, it’s actually joyful,” he said. “It’s just the thought of how boring it will be … it’s exhausting.”
Then it hit him: “It’s just a mental construct!”
A mental construct is an idea the mind makes up — like, “This is too hard” or “I don’t like exercise” or “Why is everyone always mean to me?”
Other names for mental constructs are:
Stories
Beliefs
Narratives
It should be emphasized that mental constructs aren’t false — they’re simply one way to view something. And they’re created, by us. That said — they feel completely true, and they determine our experience.
And if we can let go of the mental constructs, things can often become easier, even joyful.
Let’s take a look at mental constructs, and their effects.
Mental Constructs That Block Us
Here are some common mental construct
“It’s too hard”
“It’s boring”
“It’s too much, I can’t do it”
“I’m so far behind, what’s the point”
“It will never work, what’s the point”
“It’s not the right thing to be working on”
“It won’t make a difference”
“People will think it’s stupid”
“Who do I think I am to do this”
“There’s way too many steps, I can’t”
“I should be further along in my progress”
“Just this one time won’t hurt”
“I can always do it tomorrow”
“The diet starts tomorrow”
Any of these sound familiar? You might recognize them, or maybe you have some that aren’t listed here.
These aren’t wrong — and there’s nothing wrong with us if we have them. These mental constructs are meant to protect us. They’re protecting us from doing things that scare us.
The important thing is not to judge them, or even to understand why we have them — it’s just to notice that they’re there.
Noticing Practice
The first practice is to try to notice when you have a mental construct, and write it down.
You’ll notice because you’ll find yourself doing things that are out of line with your best intentions. Maybe you want to meditate, work on a project, exercise, go to sleep at a certain time, quit smoking, etc. But you find yourself doing things your old way, and it probably frustrates you.
So notice when that happens. What thoughts come up to justify doing it the old way? Write those thoughts down.
After a little while (a week or two) of doing this, you’ll get really good at spotting the mental construct! And that’s where the magic happens.
An important note: please have some grace for yourself, and don’t be judgmental (if you can help it) when you spot the mental constructs. We want compassionate noticing.
Clear the Path: Letting Go of Constructs
Letting go of the constructs is the next practice, and you can practice it anytime you notice a construct. Any of the stories/beliefs mentioned above — if you notice it, you can practice letting it go.
Here’s how to practice:
Noticing the construct, notice how it makes you feel.
Now ask yourself, “What would this moment be like without this construct?” What we’re left with, when we remove the mental construct, is the pure experience of this moment. See what that’s like.
Let yourself be fully open in the not-knowing of the present-moment experience. See what that might be like. Could there be doing? Or even joy?
Pop the construct like a bubble. Poof! It’s gone, and we’re liberated for a moment.
A Challenge: Practice Clearing the Path for a Week
I challenge you to take on this practice for a week, and let me know how it goes.
What do you notice?
What do you discover?
What does this enable for you?
I've been reading Michael Singer's book Untethered Soul and I loved these quotes, which remind me a lot of what you've said in this post:
"Life itself is your career, and your interaction with life is your most meaningful relationship."
"In fact, your thoughts have far less impact on this world than you'd like to think... They're simply making you feel better or worse about what's going on now."
I've loved your writings and followed you for 17 years Leo, love that you are writing this book in public for us. :)
Like @David Robinson, I immediately began to form a new section in my journal for this. The idea of mental constructs, and of working to alter my own, isn't new to me. But I love the idea of writing them down and being more systematic about practicing with them.